i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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