why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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