I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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