i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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