He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
