Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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