you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
