and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
