Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
