Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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