I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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