and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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