Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
