What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
