New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize