i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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