So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
