So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
