I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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