Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
