I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I deserve this hangover.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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