You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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