why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
