I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
this is an emotional support booty call
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize
