smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
