After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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