PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
