A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
