This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize