I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
This can only be settled by a dance off.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
