Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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