If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
