OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
