I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
