I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
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