accomplished twins. life is a go
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
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Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
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he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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