So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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