I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
