He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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