Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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