you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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