i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
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