Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
