That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
