so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
