in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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