I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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