"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
