Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
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