Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
