Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
