: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
This house was built for laser tag.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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