I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
