I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
