Don't you send me to vm
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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