Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
