Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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