i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
