i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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