It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Randomize
