Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
